{Story Code Note: There's more, lots more. This one's, well, rather fucked up. If you haven't read one of my pedo stories before, I have to warn you. I'm not a pedophile, I don't like them, nor do I shew them in a very flattering light. I'm ashamed to admit, though, they fascinate me. I can't really understand the attraction, to boys, and girls that ain't done yet. I guess that's why I occasionally obsess about it, trying to figure out what goes wrong in their sick minds to even consider sexually abusing a child in any way loving, or consentual. Any way, the only reason I'm saying this is to let you know ahead of time that this doesn't end well, without spoilers. For the victim, nor victimizer, this is not what the Greeks would call a comedy. So, if you surfed here for some quick stroke story about cute little girls that fuck big men, and enjoy it, I hope you can find the back button. Also, this isn't so much "new" as something I dredged up from decades ago off a forum that's no longer even up, and rewrote. I added a few speling errors, and dumbed down the grammar to be more consistent with a dropout closet sociopath that couldn't give two fucks about proper English even when he was in school.} Glenn {MMB NS Pyro} "Hey, Gweenn!" I jump, and run. They chased me, but I got away. Damn those neighborhood boys, why won't they leave me alone? At least they stop when I get to the street. I'm out of matches, anyway, so I head down to the Corner Market. "Hey," I make a show of running my hands through my pockets, "I know they're a quarter, but I'm a little short right now. You think I can pay you next time?' "Huh," she shakes her head, "That's what you said last time, and the time before that. You gotta start paying some time." I wait a moment to see if she'll turn away, but she looks down, and slides the lighters back. "come back when you got 75 cents." "What!? You can't raise the price that much, it's outrageous!" "You owe me," she snorts, "Now get the fuck out of my store!" and points. Fat fucking bitch, she's probly so nasty cause no man will look at her, and she stinks. Take a bath some time, you fucking hog! "Hey!" I stop some guy, "Got a light?" He holds up his smoke, but doesn't hand it over. I got a cigarette, see? Not like I'm gonna take it, and run. What's with people in this city, anyway? God! I can't wait to get out of this shithole. Yeah, the Shitty, that's what it is. It's like a trap, the building walls unclimbable, and miles of it stretching away like a maze. Maybe I could steal a car, or, wait a minute! I back up, look around, alone in the back lot. With a car, with change in the center console. Let's see, if there's a chunk of curb or something around, "Here!" KCHSH! Run quick, and circle around the block. "One," the stack of quarters clink in my palm, "2, 50, 75, 85, 90, 5, 3.15," and some pennies. Not quite enough for smokes, decent ones instead of Pop's lights. Not like she Won't try to card me, but I could 'Hey Mister' a while. Not like I got some were to be, ever, for a few months. "Whew!" the AC feels good, though. I get a fountain Dew, "Uh," show her the money, "How much are the magazines?" "Which one?" she looks up from counting. "Behind the counter," swipe a candy bar before she looks back. "Huh," she shakes you head, "You're too young for smokes, I should card you for that lighter, there's no fuckin way I'm selling you porno." "Just this," I shrug, and give her the last quarters to turn into a bill. "Here," she hands me one back, "For the matches." and closes the till. "Tell you what," I flip it at her, "Call it a tip for being such a fucking sweetheart." "Get out," she watches me leave before bending down to pick it up. At least now she owes Me for a book of matches, the next time this happens to me. Couple smokes left, light one, and see if I can get back to my building without running into those punks. Hope the old man's out, so I can swipe another pack from his carton. "Oh yeah," I reach in my pocket, "3Musketeers!?" And skip it down the street. "UH!" Walking up the stairs, the door's locked, so he's probably gone for a twack. Real quick, I run back to his room, 8 packs left, so he'll probably never notice it going down to 7. CLANK! I jump, and grab one of the magazines from the stack by his bed. "Glenn?" PCHUNK! I can hear the cap hit the ceiling, "Th' fuck Are you? C'mon out." He's tucking the lighter back in his pocket when I come out, the magazine tucked under my shirt, behind me. "WHAT'RE YOU DOING INTHERE!?" he goes straight to pissed, "I toled you to stay the FUCK out of my Room!" Grabs my arm, "Whatisis?" He jerks up my shirt, and pulls the magazine out of my belt. "You stealin from ME!" He smacks my ass with it, "I toled YOU!" backhands me with the spine, and I put my hands up. "Don't cry," he pushes me down, "Donchew Fuckingcry like a whiney little BITCH!" kicks me in the ribs, but I get my arm in the way. "Naoh, stay the fuck OUTta there!" He tips the long neck, and chugs it down. "Okay, pop." I grit my teeth, bite back my angry response, but let it show on my face. That's way better than crying, letting it show on my face. I looked away, to wipe off the tears. It's not like that, I'm not some pussy, but god dammit, that hurt! "Now put it back," he pulled the lighter back out, "AND STAY OUTTA MY ROOM!" I sniffed, dropped the mag back on the stack, but that was just a decoy. I knew to take the ones off the bottom, the old ones he never looked at any more. I like them better, anyway, they got girls my age, alone, naked, and pretty. "WHAT'RE YOU DOIN IN THERE YOU SNEAKY LITTLE FUCK!?" came through the window. I went up, the steel stairs, to the roof, and lit a smoke. "Hahhhh." I really needed it, by the time it was down to the filter, my hand would stop shaking, and I'd stop crying. The line across my face was tender, right over the bone. I took another drag, sniffed. "Toughen up," I spat, "Stop being such a pussy!" It was just pain, should be used to it by now. I rolled up my sleeve, found a clear spot, and tried to steady my hand. The tip was hot, and glowed in the sunlight when I blew the ash off. "Nhn!" I gritted my teeth, "Uh, ah!" Sucked in my teeth. "YRH!" Just pain, nothing I can't take. I let the smoke hang in my lips, took another drag, and picked at an old blister. ... "EEEEE!" some kid shreeks, and laughs. Like a scream, I ignore the stale piss smell, and try to keep my eyes on the pictures. FAP FAP FAP! So close, the high pitch squeels like screams, keep my eyes open so they're filled with Kyra, legs spread, vibrator poised over her twat, holding one of her little titties, pinching the pink nip, the other standing up on top of the bare exposed cone of pink girl flesh. "EEEEHEHEHE!" Can't get the picture out of my head, dad's newer pornos, [Bound Young]. The tape over her mouth, hand tight as a fist around her neck, "Uh!' hold my breath, "Nh hnT!" "hhH!" my eyes fly open, to the little girl, hand up over her mouth, eyes wide with surprise, even fear. "Uh," I pull my shirt down, "Sorry," hold the magazine over it, turn away. Zip it up, and hurry away. My face so hot, and the flash of intense pleasure still fading down my back. "nhnhnhN!" she giggles behind me. God, that was fucked up! Dear Diary {mg Nude Flas SN} I hadta pee, but real bad. No way I wood make it all the way around, and up the stairs, and I didn't want to wet myself. I went between the bildings, or it's really the same bilding, but between the ends of the H, were nobody goes but to pee. But there was somebody else back there, and he had his pants open. Before he covered it up, I saw his thing. I seen one before, but this time it was so big, and sticking out, swolled with pee. I even saw a drop on the end, but it wasn't green, or yellow, but white, and it just stuck there insted of dripping off. I squatted down, and pult down my pants, and underwears. "Ahhhhh," it tinkled out, and while I was down there, I saw a book on the ground. The same one he was looking at, he must've dropped it before he left. [Fresh 18] I wiped with my shirt, and pulled up my tights. "nhN!" I giggled, they was all naked, and grown up too. I stuct it under my shirt, and ran back home to hide it. Glenn {mg Voye Porn NS.} FUCK! She came back out almost right away, walking normal now, but sprinting past her friends, arm tight next to her, and a corner poking her shirt out under the shoulder. My heart lept even faster, I don't remember dropping it, but was in such a hurry to get out of there. The shreeks, and laughter faded behind me as I followed her around through the alley, up the stoop, and stairs, past my floor to the 3rd. She went the other way, but turned back down the back wing to her door. Damn it, 317, almost right across from my apartment, down in 228. I didn't hear the door lock, but I could just imagine her screaming when I walked in, someone running in behind me, or her father, with a gun, or phone to call the cops. Going to jail, then prison with a Child Abuse charge. Getting ass raped in the shower. THMP! I jumped at something hitting the other side of the door, and then the rattle of the chain. It slid into the slot, and I missed my chance. The super! I could hear his keys slapping his leg, getting closer, so I started walking before he got to the corner. Keep my head down walking past him, blood pounding in my ears, but he didn't stop me, ask why I was on the wrong floor, in the wrong wing, what I was doing here. Back at my door, I heard the muffled tweet! of a whistle through the door, and cheer of the croud. Game night, no way to sneak past the old man to his room, and out the window. He wouldn't get off the couch for hours, then stagger off to bed, no way he'd be going out tonight. "FUCK!" I went back down, around, and the playing kids kept shreeking, ignored me as usual. Damn it, no magazine, of course, just some sticky wet splatters to kick the dirt over. I went around the furniture piled up in the corner, reached behind the plywood leaned against the bricks, and pulled out the chunk of rebar. Unroll the rope in a coil around my feet, and step back. Taking a breath, I skilfully threw the spear grapple through the bottom rung of the ladder, and pulled it down slowly so it didn't rattle. TUNG! It locked down against the spring, and I climbed up with the rope before retracting it. How long did that take? It was getting dark, the street lights already coming on, and some of the windows glowing. "Hm HhHnnn," I heard humming, and tiptoed up the rusted grate above pop's window. His door was closed, but the blue glow shone under it, and the latch was done. She was laying on her bed, humming her to herself, but I couldn't tell what tune. Her hips rocked side to side, and she reached up to turn the page. The back of her head turned, and she giggled to herself. She was looking at it! Dear Diary {g Solo Porn} All the naked girls was grown up. 18, I guess, they said stuff about being "Finally Legal!" getting to send there pictures in, dreaming about guys, and playing with there selfs. Not like stories, a sentense here, or there, between the pictures. They never did all the stuf they talked about, just stood up, or layed down, touched there chest, or putting these plastic things in there mouths. It looked like a popsicle, without the stick, but it had a cord hanging down with this thing on the end like a remote. And lines up, and down the sides, it was pink. The next girl didn't have none, Tiffany just helt her privates open with her fingers, and she had this funny look on her face. Her mouth was wide open, like she was saying something. "Don't you want to cum and see me?" I didn't spell it wrong, that's the way she spelt it, C.U.M. in sted of C.O.M.E. "Betty?" I stuft it under my pillow, and went to see what mommy wanted before she come in here. Glenn {mg Voye Solo Porn} "Uh!" my eyes clenched, and I tried to hold my breath, choke back the sound. I could still see her, only in my mind's eye, she was turned so her skinny little leg wasn't in the way. She held herself open, spreading her legs to show me her little baby clit, the twat hole, and her cherry. I never seen one of them, none of the girls in the magazines was virgins. Sluts, all of them, I guess they wouldn't take their clothes off to pose for the camera if they wasn't. But not Betty, she was inocent. To start, but now, she was trying stuff, locking herself in the room, when she was supposed to be sleeping. Posing, and pulling at her close like the girls in the magazine. She must have a mirror in there, on the wall I couldn't see at this angle. The platform stopped and even if I leaned all the way out, I could just see less then half the back wall. The head of her bed, I was lucky it was in that corner, against the wall. She was still looking at it, when I headed up to the roof, and smoked. Not just the porno, but she brought a mirror to hold up, between her knees, angled to look down between her legs. She had her hands down there, I wish I could see what she was doing. Holding herself open? Fingering her clit? Wondered what it looks like, is it big? Hard, pink? I saw her bare pussy, when she got up to take off her panties, and lay back down. Turned to get the mirror from the bedside. Just a glance, but I just had to close my eyes to see it printed on the lids. Just the lips, pinched together, and a fat soft looking bulge above it. Like her lips, split around her pussy, pinched shut over her clit, and holes. God, I was almost getting hard again! I jerked off before, almost every day for years once I found my pop's stash. I wasn't even sprouting hair back then, and he stuck them under the drawer in his bedside to hide it from mom. Then she left, and he stopped bothering. He got more, till it piled up, and slid off on the floor. New titles too, Teen Anal, Hard Love, Young Punishment, hardcore. Fucking, but also getting tied up, gagged, spanked, and choked. That, and he didn't have mom to smack around no more. Pissed all the time, he beat me more, when I didn't even do anything wrong, making up reasons to smack me around. How long till he took it further, forced me down like her, choked me, and stripped me off? Finally, the swelling went down, and I noticed the cherry was out on my smoke. I brushed the ash off before rolling my sleeve down. God, I was like a fucking junky, cept I don't got the money for smack. Maybe I should try it, had to feel good, or why would they stab themselfs? It could make me forget my troubles, take away the pain, make it feel better, right? I dunno, "Fuck it," got to go face the old man some time. Dear Diary {g Solo Porn Hyme.} No boys. Just girls, and I seen all the picters like a millyun times allready. I just seen that one, thet dropped the naked book, and just a secent. God, hard to beleve its gonna be another 9 years till I'm old enough for a guy like him. To do that stuff with him. Not just hold hands, and kiss him, but fucking. Whatever that is, I guess they mean "put your big hard dick in my tight wet pussy." Just like Valary said. I figured it out, I mean there so lonely, and horny they got to get there moms vibrators, and dildos to stick in there instead of find a boy to fuck them. But there so grown, and pretty, and sexy. If they can't find a boyfriend, how am I gonna? I'm still so little, and skinny, and I don't got no tittys yet. My pussy hole in't even open, I can't see my cherry in there no matter how much I look. I'm not even lucky enough for my mommy to have a vibrator, or dildo, I looked. I found a carrot in the frige, but it was to cold the first time. I stuck my finger in there, but it hurt, I mustve scratched myself, or something cause I was bleeding even. That's why girls use dildos and vibrators instead of their fingers, they don't got nails. I cut myne off, and then it didn't hurt. The carrot wasnt cold no more neither, so I tried that, and it was to dry. I guess that's why they suck on there dildos, so they can get it wet, or get some baby oil, or lotion, or KY whatever that is. I nibbled off the tip so it wont poke me, and tried that getting it all wet with spit, and spitting on my hand to rub it in, but I guess I had a scab in there, cause it hurt and started bleeding again, so I quit. Mommy'd be home soon anyway. Glenn {m pyro NS} She wasn't up there, yet. I sat on the stairs, at least her window was still open, so I'd here her shut the door. Lock it so her dad wouldn't come in, and catch her looking at it. Had a smoke, whatever, dad's not home, and I'd here him through the window in time to thump it away. Loud asshole always slams the door, anyway. I thumped it off before it started burning into the filter, and waited some more. She's so pretty. Blonde, which is nice, and she always ties her hair back in a tail behind her head. I love the way it spreads over the top of her back when she's laying down, on her elbows, humming to herself, and looking at the pictures so she can shove it under her pillow if someone comes in. I used to do that, back when I still jerked off in my room, when Pop was there. I looked up, is that music? Coming from her room, a nice beat, sounded like jungle music, sort of, I guess. Some wispery words, not sung, couldn't make it out. I stuck my head up, made sure she wasn't looking out the window, but she was posing, I think. My jaw dropped, she had her shirt pulled up over her flat belly, and tucked under something stuffed inside. I don't know what it was, but could tell what they were supposed to be. "All you people look at me like I'm a little girl," she twisted, sticking out her slim hip one way, then the other, "but didja ever think it be okay for me to step into this world?" She sang along, her voice much higher than the deep husky moans of the singer. "Always saying 'little girl don't step into the glow.' Well I'm just trying to find out why 'cause dancing's what I love." She twirled, and it looked like she had a belt made out of glitter, or tinsles, that spun out with her. "Get get, get get, Way! Get get, get get. Waayy! Get get, get get. Way Huh huh huh!" I couldn't even hear her cute little pants over the music, but her mouth hung open so cutely. "I'm a, Slaaave, 4U." She did the whole dance, and... I don't know how to feel about it. I mean, uh, I felt confused, she was dancing around like Britney Spears, or something. For all I know, it was her, in the song. I don't listen to pop! I mean, I heard some of her old songs, but it's not like I followed her enough to recognize her voice, as a posed to Christina Agalera, or whoever it is this week. Hadn't heard much from her anyway, so I guess her 15 minutes was up anyway. Then it's onto the next Mtv tease, maybe if we still had Cable, or something. Last time we did, she hadn't even hit it big, but I seen her before. Kind of danced like that. Anyway, it seemed kind of wrong, to me. I guess, I mean, she's not That kind of girl, or never was before. If anyone changed that, I know who to blame. Not like I ment to flash her, and left that damn magazine for her to find on purpose. I'm pretty sure it's been long enough I'd probably gotten caught by now, but it couldn't help thinking I'd accidently made this inocent little girl a little dirtier. Now she was playing with herself, and I watched, and dancing around like a stripper, or something. She stopped the music, "MoOom!" and I jumped. Oh shit, I ran up the steps as quick as I could without making to much noise, and frose when the window thumped down. She turned, and stepped away so I could see Betty's legs on the bed. She sat down next to her, with a book in her lap. And something else. I got down, to look between the bars. Is that, blood? Dear Diary {Fg NS Talk} She found them, even where I hid them, way down in the laundry basket. She closed the window, and set next to me on the bed. She had this book, and read to me like it was bed time, and I was a little girl again. But it wasn't a story, it was about Puberty, and what happens when little girls start growing up. She explained a lot, how a girl starts bleeding, so she's ready to get Pregnant when she finds a man, and gets married to him. She thought that's what it was, so I didn't tell her about scratching myself with my fingernail. Or maybe that wasn't it. I wondered why I could never find my cherry in there much as I tried. I was expecting something little, and round, like a berry, and guessed it got squished flat when it broke. Turns out, it's really called a Hymen, and it's that peace of skin over my vaginal opening that I felt break. That's why it broke, and started bleeding. She gave me some napkins, and showed me how to put them in my panties so the blood wouldn't ruin them. Then, she complaned about how these are ruint, and she's never get the stain out, so I should start wearing them a day, or two before I started bleeding again, next month. I said I would, and left out the part about when I really do get my period. At least it healed all reddy, so I won't have to worry no more till then. I don't know, maybe I can wait, even if it means I'm going to start to grow up. Glenn "Hey!" some guy stuck his head out the window, "What're you doing down there, Punk!" I ran, out of the fire light. "I'M CALLING THE COPS!" "FUCK!" just keep running, fucking bald ass fat asshole! Hope he didn't see me to good in the dark, with my hat pulled down, from way up there. Throw the smoke away, so they don't see the cherry, and hide down another alley. Away from my building, so they won't know which way to go. Circle around the block, away from the sirens, too far away to even see the lights. Probably safe. Stupid middle school mistake, lighting fires, "Wanna get arrested again?" Why wasn't she home? All she had to do was go in her room, get out the porn, play with herself again. "Fuck fuck fuck FUCK!" I should've burned it when I had the chance. That was the whole idea, get rid of evidense. I was about to, but no, I stopped, read it from the firelight, rubbing my woody through my pants. It was so exciting again. Then I found myself back Home. Not the apartment, it never felt safe like it used to here. I never missed it down there, longed to go back. I always wanted to get away, avoid it, my old man. That's what it is, it's his falt it felt like a prison. More like a dungeon, torture room, my own personal hell. I almost want to build a shack up on the roof, drag my bed up there, but the best I can do is that old air conditioner box, like some little kid's fort, or a wino bumb in some alley. I wring the rebar in my hands, the smooth tape to keep it from clanging on the ladder slipping in my fists like the skin on my dick. This is no way to live, I look over at her window. "Duh!" Stupid Glenn. She's not home, now's my chance, her window's even left open in the summer heat. Now I can finally get it back, destroy the evidence. Like the sticky thumb print I left on the page. As I pulled back my arm, I remember her pulling the pages apart, sniffing it. THmp! it bounced off her bed, and onto the floor. I carefully pulled it in, so it didn't fall out, swing down to smash through pop's window. Tight, tighter so I can tye it to the hand rail. Why didn't I think of this before? I threw my leg over, and slipped down the rope, and hung from the rail. "Woah!" I held my breath, and hung tight to the rope, swinging over the alley. Don't look down! Fuck! The bar slipped down, almost out of the sill to drop me to my death. Got to be, what? 3rd floor, so at least 30 feet. Yeah, just get your feet on the sill. And the other, walk my hands down the rope to, "Uh! Huhhuhhuh!" catch my breath. Man, that was scary. "ninja!" I whispered to myself, with a wicked grin. Sure enough, she had a mirror on her dressor. So she had to lay back across he matress, and her leg always got in the way. I couldn't believe I was really here! I sniffed, took a deep breath, tried to remember the smell. The same building, of course, but with it's own flavors underneath. Cleaner, except this sweet hint of something, nasty. Rotten, over here, I closed my eyes, and tried to bloodhound it out. Here, in the corner, with the trash can, of course. Way down, buried under tissues, and chip bags, candy wrappers, and paper drink cups. She always ate in her room, before she locked the door, and got it out. I thought to pull my shirt out, and push the button on the knob with it to not leave prints. Now, I found it. A soft blackened little spike with a beard of mold on the side. A carrot, The carrot, her's. "HhHhH!" I almost wanted to smell it, but it was too nasty. Used up, and rotten, I had to find something fresher. Dear Diary {G Solo} "G'night," mom pulled the door, and I waited for her to go down the hall before I got up to push the lock. The rolled up towel went under the door, so the light wouldn't get out, and then I switched it on. I hid it real good, but now I didn't need to get it out, I had it memeryzed. I could see myself in the window, standing up, and it wasn't as high as the one on the wall. I pulled my shirt up, and my undies down to my knees. Nope, still nothing, but I rubbed my big bump until the little one started poking out where it split. I shivered a little, and kept pushing while I used my other fingers to spread my pussy open. There, but I couldn't see, so I twisted back, and reached under my but. I filed my nails real good, so they couldn't scratch me, and used my 2 second longest fingers so I could reech my longest up, and just touch my clit. "Uh!" I bit my lips, and tried not to grunt to loud, but it made me jump like it always did. It felt like sticking myself with a pin, only instead of bad, really really good! I twisted more, and pushed it up, slow, and gentle until my legs started shaking, and I had to lay down before I fell. To bad I can't see my self good there, but the bed is to heavy to pull over, and mom would sure hear that, so I closed my eyes, and just felt my fingers. Rubbing, trying not to grunt, I had to put a pillow over my head. It felt so strong, I couldn't help myself, it always came out. Even if I tried to hold my breath. "Mh, mh mh mhmhmhmHMHMH!" I had to stop, hold the pillow up so I could breath. "HhHhH!" I licked my fingers real good, got them nice and spitty, and was careful not to touch any thing until they got down there. "Huh huh huh hhHH!" I took a bunch of big breaths, and put the pillow back over my face. "Nht!" Glenn {Mm Talk NS F Nude} "NhH!" it cummed out, twitching, and spurting over my nuckles. "hhH!" I gasped, pulled it aside for air, and turned to rub my cheek into them. The soft fabric, 80% cotton, 20% polyester, size 3J white underpants. With a pink ribbon around the legs, and thin elastic waistband. And most of all, full of her smell. "Oh, Betty!" Catching my breath, I brought them over my nose again, and breathed deep. "Nnh!" So tiny, hard to believe anyone is small enough to wear them. I stuffed them back in my pocket, and got out my lighter. Kinda weird, Betty. I mean, isn't that like an old lady granma name? Who ever heard of a little girl named Betty? It should've been wrong, I guess, but it was, idaknow, I never thought it was a pretty name before. I guess I never thought about it, Pretty, Betty, makes sense, right? All those wrincled old bats had to be little girls some time, maybe even cute, but I couln't picture it. Wonder what she's gonna look like when were both old? Had to pinch the tobacco out of the filter, and stick the flat end back in. They all broke, but still smoke, so oh well. PCHSH! The flame raced across the matches, and I let the sulfer burn out before I lit up. "Hhnnh!" Damn thing stuck to my fingers, so I had to carefully put it back together to take another drag. Then, I crawled out to the fresh air, stretched an felt the nice happiness from my cum slowly fading. So this is what it feels like, love? I know it's wrong, but it don't feel dirty or perverted at all. Not like I really even want to fuck her, yet. Just realized I never think about it, even, not like that. I mean, sure, I like to watch her, look at her naked, playing with herself, but that's it. God, I wish she did keep a diary, or something so I could know what she was really thinking. How she felt about it, me, whether she even remembered. Did she think about seeing it, my dick hard for that split seccond when she fingers her self? That and it'd be nice if she did stand in front of the window, so I could see what she really was doing. I know she was playing with herself, but how? Her hand was always in the way, after she slipped it down from the thick soft puff of flesh on top. I bet she does that to push her clit out, but oh what I would give to see it. What she did to make her make those cute little grunts, shiver, and shake like that. What makes her knees go weak? She's too young, now, but I can wait. Not like she's getting younger, soon she'll have tits, and maybe even hair on it. I'm sure she won't mind shaving like the girls in the pornos, so I can still see that fat puff of flesh below her pale flat tummy. Right in front of me, feel it, it's got to be so soft, and smooth, and warm, and dry. It has to smell like her, not the nasty stale twat stink of a scank, but the fresh clean little girl smell of her clothes. Even her shirt smelled like that, under the arms without a hint of sweat funk. Pure, and beautiful. I know Pop wouldn't understand, noone could, but at least she's not another guy. At least I'm not gay. ... "Let's talk," he pulled out of the DMV, "Son." Uh oh, "About what?" Never a good sign when he's Nice. "Your future." Of course, ID card still warm in my pocket, he insisted on bringing me back to pick it up, instead of waiting for it in the mail. "Now, I know your grades ain't good 'nuff for a Scholarship, I sure don't got the money to pay for tuition, and you ain't showing no interest in finding a job." Here it comes. "I still don't want to join the Navy." "All right." He lifted his hand, and patted the steering wheel, "The Marines are still lookin' for a few good men, but I bet they'd take you." I swallowed instead of saying, 'yeah, to replace the ones they already blowed up!' "Uh huh?" "Look, son." He rubbed my shoulder hard, "I gave up on making you a man, maybe the service can the way it did for me." "I don't," I swallowed, "Getting shot, or full of shrapnell is not my idea of becoming a man. No, look. You seen the news, you know what Marines are doing right now? They're dying, for Kuwate, or their oil, faster than they can recruit them, and I know you'd rather I 'die like a man then live like a coward', I'm just not all in a rush to run off to the desert, and get shipped back in a box." I looked up, as the truck pulled into a place. "Wh?" "Happy birthday," he grinned, and cut the motor, "Boy." [Pussycat House] it thumped like a bed hitting the wall in the next room. "Naoh, they don't do all nude here, but the minimum age is 18, and they got a deal for your birthday." He rolled the window, and locked the door, so I did too. Skooping the bank envelope off the dashboard, he slammed it, and checked the tool box locks on the way around the bed. "Call it a present," he grinned, winked, and checked the ones on my side. I pulled my hat down, and followed. "$15 cover." The bouncer checked my ID, "Hehehappy birthday, kid," he handed it back, "No cover for you tonite," and handed pop something. "Uh," I tucked it away, "Thanks." The beat changed, "Ladies, and gentlemen!" I looked around, nothing but perverts, and strippers. "The Pussycat House is proud to present Rrroxxxy!" Just in case you wanted to spell it, [ROXXXY ROXXXY ROXXXY] flashed on the screen in blood red, and she stomped out hard enough for her chest to shake, and bounce. Thump tis, thump, tis! The base kicked in, BWRNT BWRNT BWANK BWRNT BRNT BWRDENTDEDANT! Loud as fuck, and she jumped on the pole. I rolled my eyes, but Pop was turned to hail a waitress, so he didn't see it. "You Let Me Violate You..." I recognized the song, though it turned out to not be the Radio Edit. I never heard this version, so I didn't know instead of "I wanna Eat you like an Animal," it said "I wanna Fuck you like an Animal." I tapped my hands on my legs. "I'm sorry sir, but we don't have a liquer license here." The waitress stood up from yelling in his ear, and her tits settled back into her bra. "Th' FUCK!?" He yelled something back over the Music, but all I heard was "You Can Have My Isolation!.." She came back with a couple dixie cups full of fruit punch flavored soda. "Well," pop leaned over, "I Guess Now We Know Why They Don't Have A Drink Minimum!" and pulled his flask out of his jacket. "Like Her?" I shook my head, too nasty. I mean it's not the fishnet dress, or strike oil heels. As a matter of fact, I wasn't sure yet what was such a turn-off. I mean, here I was, surrounded by tits, and ass, and all I could think about was how could I get the hell out of here. "How 'Bout Her?" I crossed my legs, "I got to go take a leak." "Well," he shouted up at me, "Make It Quick!" and downed his punch. The Men's room looked like a porn set, they had a screen showing the stage over the urinals so I couldn't even get away from it, but at least the music was muffled down to a dull throb. The screen behind her echoed off to infinity but getting darker, and darker with a hundred of her spinning down the pole, her top flapping out in her hand. I felt like puking all a sudden, but I just washed my face, and took some deep breaths. I felt like I just ran 3 blocks, and it was like 300 degrees in there. By the time I came out, the song was winding down to those weird electronic notes on the end, and she was strutting off in nothing but panties full of bills. I sighed, and sat down. "Gimme A Cigarette!" I held out my hand, "What? I'm a Man now, Right? You wanna share your bourbon? Gimme a Fucking Cigarette!" He smiled, almost proudly? And shook one out of his pack. I took his lighter, with the chew marks on the bottom from countless bottlecaps, and lit it myself. "WHEWH!" The smoke rolled out, and glowed greenly in the flashing lights. "Thank You Roxxxy!" another song came on, but I didn't pay attention, "She'll Be making The Rounds If Anyone Wants A Personal Dance, Up Next..." "Uh!" I turned away before rolling my eyes again. "Wanna Dance?" She leaned over Pop, a different bra on this time. He gave her something else, looked like a fucking coupon, and nodded over to me. Oh no, I shrank back in my seat, but she stepped over my knees, and leaned in to hang her tits right in front of my face. It's all right," she breathed heavy, "Hunny. Just relax, and I'll take good care of you." She stank, not just perfume, but the stale rotten onion stentch of somebody that should've stopped to take a shower instead of running out to shake her shit at me. She smiled fakely, unhooking between her tits, and popping them out to bounce like water balloons. I seen tits. Okay, not right in front of me naked like that, but enough in porno mags to tell the difference between real ones, and hollywoods. The left one was cockeyed, so to speak. The nipple stretched down, and out to the side. She lifted the other to lick it, and show off the scar under it. My stomach rumbled, and all I could taste was the sweet residue of "fruit" punch almost as fake, and cheezy as her "tits." I'd almost rather she was flat as Florida then this Frankenhooker freak turning to bend over, and shake her thong at me. "UMH!" I put my hand over my mouth, "HRLPFGSH!" and sprayed used fruit punch between my fingers. She jumped, and ran straight back to the back stage with her bra. "COMERE!" Pop jerked me up by my arm, and dragged me off to the 'Men's room. I thought he'd rip it off, or snap the bone in two with his grip. "I KNEWit!" I fell back, and crashed into the cinder block wall of the stall. "I fucking Tried to make you a Man," he kicked me viciously, "But I guess NOW we know what your fucking PROBlem is!" "NO!" I held my hands up, and coughed, "Please, dad, no!" "I'll FUCking KILL you FAGgot!" I managed to roll, and kind of jump sideways away, but his fist came down like a sledge hammer. The image of mom flashed into my head with the burst of pain. The next thing I knowed was being dragged, struggling through the club, and thrown out the front door. Pop was getting up, and I scrambled back away from him. "Cops are on the way." The bouncer called calmly behind me, "Might want to get the fuck off our property before they get here," he slammed the door. "I'm not gay," I coughed, and spat, "Dad. No, really, I like girls, just calm the fuck down, and hear me out, all right?" He took a deep breath, and let his fists fall open. "Look, that wasn't a gay thing, she was just so fucking NASTY!" I never cussed in front of him before tonight, or since he smacked the shit out of me for saying SHIT! whenever I tripped over something when I was like 10. "Seriously, you like that shit?" I hooked my thumb over my shoulder, and started for the car. "Would I be stealing your porno mags, the ones that don't have a single cock in it I might add if I was some kind of shit packer?" He shook his head, "I..." "No wait," I held my hand up, "Let me finish, and unlock the fucking truck so we can get out of here, all right?" I could here sirens all ready. He let out a deep breath, and reached across the seat to pull the lock stem. "All Right." I jumped in, and slammed the door, "Lets go quick before you end up in jail for child abuse." "Your not a miner no more," he started it up, and pulled out. I caught my breath, and groaned. "Look," I rolled down the window, "I just don't like those Kinds of girls," and moved the mirror, "Ah fuck," I grabbed some napkins out of the Hardees bag on the floor, "I mean she was sooo skanky!" Wiped the blood out of the corner of my mouth, and coughed, "She smelled like a fucking bum, and I'm not really into the whole ass thing. She could've at least wiped!" It was just split, and there was no blood in the stuff I hacked up. "Give me the bourbon. For the Cut, Dad?" I soaked a clean napkin, and "Ow, FUCK!" spat out the window, "How d'you drink this Piss!?" I screwed the cap down, and tossed it on the seat. "I know money's tight, but can't you spring for some decent whiskey?" "Huhuh," he chuckled nervously, "Soouh, what kind of girls Do you like?" "Idaknow?" I dropped it out the window before we pulled up to the light. He looked around, took a shot, and tucked it away quick. "Nice ones? Clean girls, maybe a virgin even so I know she ain't all packed full of jizz!" All a sudden, I remembered all the things he said about my mom, "I don't want a Slut, dad, I don't want to wonder what guy she's fucking now whenever we're not together. I want to avoid the mistake you made, with Mom." It wasn't like that, I know. I just had to say something, before he killed me, or something. She talked to me about it. I knew, long before he did, and when I worked up the balls to ask her about it, she explained how she needed a shoulder to cry on. It wasn't like she planned to cheat, but he was so gentle, and loving. It was a bad year, before he got this job with the Department of Transportation, and this new truck. He'd come home from riding the bus all over, getting turned down, and hit the bottle pretty hard. Then she'd start nagging, and whining, and crying about how we were running out of food, and she was afraid they'd kick us out on the street. I'm not saying she was asking for it, but she knows what a temper Pop's got, especially when he's stressed all the time, and drunk, and she just kept heaping more on him. Then he found out, I don't know how, but I heard them fighting through the door, then the door slammed, and when I got up, she was gone. He threw her out, and she went to live with granma, and grandad, and then we moved. I didn't mean to, but I started crying. And for once, he didn't say anything. He just drove us home, locked up, and we went up to the apartment. He sniffed, "I'm sorry, son." wiped his eyes, "I mean, I knew you took her running out bad, on account of how that's when you started getting in trouble, but." My god, those were tears? "I just, I never, wanted that life for you. Whenever I saw how you looked at that stripper, and when you barfed like that, I thought." "It's all right," The tears were pouring out now, "Pop, I told you, I'm not gay." ... WHOOMPH! I jumped, and ran before the smoke, and fire spread. Around the corner, down the stairs quick. Out to the hall, around to my wing, and to the door. Left it unlocked, so all I had to do was turn the knob, bolt through, slam it behind me, and charge through the living room. Right over pop's bed, out the window, and up the rusty steps to the next platform. "Fire!" I finally yelled, "Hey Betty, get up, the building is on fire!" "AIEEEE!" she screamed, and ran out, or in, to her apartment. The she ran back to the window. "OMGOD, It's coming under the doooor!" "Quick," I pointed sideways, "Run over to your mom, and dad's room, and I'll try to find a rope or something." As soon as she was gone, I picked up the rebar, set myself, and aimed. She yanked the drapes open, and smoke pored out as soon as she opened the window. "UH!" "Get out of the way! WuhH!" Just like I practiced, it sailed across, and right through the open square to land on the bed. "What do I do now!?" she sounded so scared. "Hold it up across the sill so it's against both sides," I pulled it tight, "Good, now clime out on the rope." She coughed, and looked down, "I'm skaihaired!" "DOYOU WANNA BURNTODEATH!?" I tried to calm down, "Hurry up before it gets you!" "Ok, uh?" She patted the rope with her hands, then put them on the sill, and started climing up. "Hurry!" No telling when somebody'd come out to the fire escape. I mean, obviously, that's what it's for, but I planned this as carefully as I could, and most of the building is usually so empty this time of day, and I didn't see anyone when I ran around from her door. The super should be by the fire, and I really had to get her before somebody saw us. "Now what?" She had to hold onto the rope with her knees on the sill like that, and I had it tied off by then, so I leaned out, and reached for her. "Try to clime a cross," I waved my fingers to her. "It's to fahar!" She shrank back, and coughed again. Not cute little "Kha Kha!" grunts but a loud throat clearing "KHAWOOHOO!" that sent a loogie flipping out, and down to the ground. "It's just about 8 feet," the best I could figure, "I can't reach that far, but you just have to get about halfway before I can." "Okay, uh?" She coughed again, "I'm coming, please don't let me fall!" "Hold on tight sweetheart, you're gonna swing down, yeah like that, just hold on, and try to pull yourself over here. Just a little more, yeah!" And that's the first time I touched her. I didn't have time to think about it at the moment, but technicly she never said a word to me before that day. "Now," I gripped her skinny wrists tight, "I got you, hold on with your legs, but let go so I can pull you in. "AIEEE!" The rope let go, and the bar fell against the platform below. "NH!" I pulled her up, into my arms, and went straight up the stairs. "Let go, honey." I pulled the rope out so we could keep going, and ran around to the next stairs. "You'll have to clime up," I tried to push her on the ladder, "I can't carry you up the ladder." "But," she looked down, "The ground is down there!" "Up up!" I pushed on her ass, "Quick before the fire gets here!" It was flashing out through the smoke now. "EEE!" She climed quick, and I was right behind her. "This way!" I grabbed her hand, and pulled her to the door to the stairs. "It's Locked!" Just like I knew it would be. "Hey," her head turned on it's side, "I remember you!" and her eyebrows wrickled. "No time for that now!" I pulled her arm, but she yanked it out of my hand. "NO!" she grabbed the door, "Help Help!" she beat on it with both wrists. "HELMH! MREE!" She screamed in my hand, and struggled, so I picked her up, and yanked her hands off the door handle. "Mhr mrH!" "Shut up, stop screaming!" Around to the air conditioners, and behind them to the plywood I'd sneaked up, and made the little shelter with. It wasn't much, but big enough for both of us. I had to crawl in with her struggling under me. She screamed again until I could get my hand back over her mouth. "MmhH!" I was just trying to muffle her a little, and roll her over, but I pushed a little too hard, and she hit her head. Her eyes relaxed, still open, but not as wide with terror, and they looked dazed. It was so quiet, I couldn't believe it. I could hear the cars, down on the street, then the high rising whine that got louder until I could tell for sure that it was a fire truck siren. "Sorry!" my hands jerked back, "I'm sorry. Betty? Betty! Oh my god, no Betty!" "Uh!" she blinked, and her hands came up to her head. "Wh? No, mMH!" I stopped her before she could scream again. "No, it's all right, it's okay, don't scream, I don't want to, ImeanI'm NOT gonna hurt you!" "Let me go, no, stop," she tried to hit me, or she beat on my chest, but not real hard. "Don't touch me, please, mhH! MREE!" "Stop FIGHTing." Her head hit the floor, "You unGREATful little BITCH!" I didn't mean to hit her, but it just happened. I didn't even realize I was doing it until my slap ended in a balled fist, and I watched it come down. Hard, smashing into her face, and bouncing her head off the roof. "hrRAHAHAH!" My hands crushed her arms, and I shook her so hard her head swung up and down, and hit the roof over, and over. I wasn't mad at her, or I shouldn't have been. It was my stupid plan, and I fucked it up, and it just made me so mad, I never felt so much rage in my whole life, and then I realized the worse thing. I hate my father so much. I knew that, he's a nasty drunk, and a coward that beats on women, and children, and drives women away because he treats them like shit, and hates them so much. I was too scared of him to admit it, because it made me feel weak, and helpless like the whiny little bitch he always called me after mom left so he couldn't call her that when he was smacking her around, and throwing her on the bed, and ripping open her clothes, and raping her when he was so drunk that all he could do was punish her for the way he fucked up his life, and ruined it for his familly. And like I could never have the balls to admit to myself, I was most terrified of being a monster like him. It wasn't love, or even lust, that's all I could think about, all I felt as my hands tore her pants down, and shoved my fingers between her legs, and forced them into her, and fumbled my fly open one handed. She woke up screaming again, but I was gone. The monster took over, and held her head down by her mouth, and held my hard dick in the other to push it between her legs. I could see the blood on my fingertips, feel it's slick wetness when I forced into her. I could feel my lips tighten, then peel back from my teeth in that nasty wicked grin I hated on my pop's face whenever he was kicking the shit out of me. I bet he'd be so proud to see his son finally become a man. Growling, and letting her scream so he could hear it under the sirens drowning her out. She stopped, eyes wide, but breathless. That pissed me off, so I hit her, and hit her again, and again untill I got off on it. "Hrh, hh huh uh!" I caught my breath, but she was still. Out cold, I hoped. But no, she wasn't breathing, and she drooled out of the side of her mouth like a big last tear. That's when I broke down crying. {End note: This was written before I started setting some of my stories to soundtrax, but when I began adding musical allusions. Those ought to date this. In case you're curious, I wrote the last part listening to NIN - Ruiner (Downward Spiral)}